I have a little beef with the word flattering. Actually, it’s becoming a pretty big beef, and I think it’s time we talked about it. Again. Recently, I spent a good chunk of time on the phone with a boudoir client who kept coming back to the same concern…she wanted to make sure I knew her most flattering angles, that I would pose her in ways that hid the parts of her body she was uncomfortable with, and that we would be very intentional about making her look her absolute best. And I get it, I really do. When you’re investing in professional boudoir photography, especially something as intimate and vulnerable as this, of course you want to love the photos. Of course you have concerns about how your body will look, and of course you want to know that your photographer understands them.
But somewhere in that conversation, I had to gently challenge the entire idea of what she was asking for. Because I don’t believe in flattering boudoir poses. At least not in the way we’ve been taught to think about them. And before you panic and imagine me photographing everyone from underneath their chin with a wide-angle lens, hear me out.
What Does a “Flattering” Boudoir Pose Actually Mean?
Think about what we’re usually asking for when we want a flattering photo. We want our waist to look a certain way, our stomach to look “better”, maybe our legs to look longer, our butt to be bigger, and our skin to look smoother. We want the camera to find the version of our body that most closely resembles what we’ve been sold an attractive body should look like. That’s a pretty exhausting assignment to give a photograph, don’t you think? The word flattering has become a polite way of asking photographers to disguise the parts of ourselves we’ve decided are unacceptable. And the more I work with women, the more I realize how deeply ingrained that thinking is. We can recognize unrealistic beauty standards, roll our eyes at the ridiculous expectations placed on women’s bodies, and still find ourselves desperately trying to meet them the second someone points a camera at us.
I’m not immune to this either. We’re all swimming in the same cultural bullshit. But as a Denver boudoir photographer whose entire business is built around helping women feel more connected to themselves, I have to be conscious of the messages I’m reinforcing through my work. If I spend an entire session strategically hiding someone’s stomach because she believes it makes her less beautiful, what am I really teaching her? That her stomach was a problem, and luckily, I knew how to solve it? Yeah, fuck that.
Your Body Doesn’t Need a Different Set of Rules
Here’s something I told that client, and something I think every woman considering boudoir photography deserves to hear. I photograph bodies of all sizes with the same respect, creativity, and intention. A woman who wears a size 2 doesn’t automatically get to stretch out across the bed with her stomach exposed while a woman who wears a size 16 gets a carefully curated collection of poses designed to conceal hers. I don’t have a secret set of acceptable poses reserved for certain body types, and I refuse to approach a larger body as though it requires more correction. Imagine how absurd that would be if we said it out loud.
“Oh, sorry, that pose is only for women whose stomachs don’t fold when they sit.” Absolutely not. We’re not doing that here.
Now, does that mean I pose every woman identically? Of course not. Bodies have different mobility, comfort levels, and ways of moving. I’m constantly adjusting hand placement, posture, angles, and movement to create beautiful body language that feels intentional and natural for the person in front of me. That’s part of being a skilled photographer.
But those adjustments come from the artistry of posing and the individuality of the person, rather than a belief that certain bodies deserve to be photographed differently because they don’t fit a particular beauty standard. Your body deserves the same creative freedom as anyone else’s.
Read more about What You Should Know About Boudoir Poses HERE.
Yes, You Might See Rolls and Cellulite in Your Boudoir Photos
I want to be upfront about something because I would much rather have this conversation before your session than have you open your gallery with expectations I never intended to create. You will probably see parts of your body that you’re used to criticizing.
Your stomach might fold when you bend forward. Your thighs might have cellulite. Your skin will have texture, your body will crease when you move, and depending on the position, you might discover a roll you didn’t even know you had. Congratulations, you’re a human with a body that does body things.
I say that with love and a little sarcasm because I know these things can feel incredibly personal, but I also want to challenge how much meaning we’ve assigned to them. Somewhere along the way, we started treating perfectly ordinary features of the human body as photographic mistakes. We became so accustomed to seeing bodies smoothed, reshaped, and carefully positioned that an actual stomach folding when someone sits down can feel shocking. Think about how strange that is.
Part of my job is to understand light, composition, movement, expression, and the thousands of tiny details that make a photograph compelling. I can create incredible images of you without promising that every inch of your body will conform to an unrealistic standard. And I want you to know that going in, because the last thing I want is for you to mistake my refusal to hide your body for a lack of care or skill. Quite the opposite, actually.
Boudoir Photography Isn’t a Quick Fix for Body Insecurities
This is probably the part where I risk talking someone out of booking, but I’d rather be the photographer who tells you the truth than the one who promises a life-changing transformation she can’t guarantee.
Boudoir photography can be an incredibly powerful experience. I’ve watched women surprise themselves, challenge beliefs they’ve carried for years, and discover an appreciation for their bodies that they didn’t expect. There is something genuinely special about seeing yourself through someone else’s artistic perspective, especially when that perspective isn’t built around finding your flaws.
But one photoshoot cannot undo twenty years of criticizing your reflection. I wish it could. I’d be out here solving generations of body image issues with a camera, and frankly, that would be a pretty impressive business model.
The reality is that you bring your relationship with your body into the studio with you, and you’ll bring it into your gallery viewing afterward, too. If you’ve spent years believing your stomach is something to hide, seeing it beautifully photographed might feel liberating. It might also feel uncomfortable at first, even if the photograph itself is stunning. Both reactions are possible, and neither means the session failed.
That’s why I it’s important to talk about the mental preparation that goes into boudoir photography. We can create an intentional, supportive experience together, but I can’t control the voice in your head when you look at yourself. And I won’t pretend that I can.
The Mental Preparation for Your First Denver Boudoir Session
When I say my clients have to meet me halfway, I don’t mean you need to show up loving every part of your body. If that were the requirement, my calendar would be looking pretty empty. What I mean is I need you to arrive with some willingness to question the way you’ve been looking at yourself. Maybe that means catching yourself when you start saying you’ll love your photos as long as your stomach doesn’t show. Maybe it means noticing how often you compare your body to the women in my portfolio, or asking yourself why a pose you find beautiful on someone else suddenly becomes unacceptable when you imagine yourself doing it. That kind of awareness matters.
Before your session, I encourage you to think about what you’re hoping to experience beyond simply looking good. How do you want to feel in your body? What parts of your personality have you been wanting to express? What would it mean to see a photograph of yourself and appreciate the whole image before immediately searching for something to criticize?
These aren’t questions you have to answer perfectly. They’re an invitation to approach the experience with a little more curiosity and a little less judgment. You are allowed to have insecurities. You’re allowed to tell me about them, and you’re absolutely allowed to have boundaries around what feels comfortable. I take those conversations seriously because trust is essential to the kind of work I create.
What I won’t do is agree that your insecurities are evidence of something wrong with your body. There’s a difference, and it’s an important one.
Read about Denver Boudoir for Those Who Are Uncomfortable Being Seen HERE.
How I Approach Boudoir Posing at Blue Flame Studio Co
One of my favorite things about specializing in boudoir photography is how much attention it requires you to pay to body language. I notice everything. The way someone’s shoulders rise when they’re nervous, how their hands naturally fall, whether they’re holding their breath, how their expression changes when they stop thinking about the camera for a second. I can tell when a pose looks technically beautiful but feels completely disconnected from the woman doing it, and that’s usually my cue to change something.
During your session at my private Denver studio in the Santa Fe Arts District, I’m guiding you through the entire process. We’ll work with movement, posture, light, and expression to create images that feel intentional and emotionally connected, and I’ll make adjustments based on how your body moves rather than forcing you to recreate a photograph of someone else’s body.
Sometimes the direction is incredibly specific because the tiniest movement of your hand or shift of your shoulder can change the entire energy of an image. Sometimes I need you to trust me through a pose that feels a little ridiculous in the moment. And sometimes the most important thing I can do is give you a second to breathe and settle back into yourself.
I care deeply about making beautiful photographs. I care about angles, composition, and how the light moves across your body, and I will absolutely put all my experience into making sure your gallery is something special.
I just refuse to measure the success of those photographs by how effectively I’ve made your body look different or more “socially acceptable.” There’s so much more interesting stuff we could be doing with that creative energy.
What If You Don’t Love Every Boudoir Photo?
Let’s normalize this for a second. You might not love every photograph of yourself, and that’s normal.
I don’t think it’s realistic or particularly helpful to promise that after one boudoir session, you’ll suddenly adore every angle of your body and never have an insecure thought again. You’re still going to be a person with preferences, feelings, and a complicated relationship with your own reflection.
What I hope is that you’ll give yourself a chance to look beyond the things you normally fixate on. Maybe you’ll notice the confidence in your posture before the shape of your stomach. Maybe you’ll love the way your expression feels so unmistakably yours, or the way the light falls across your skin, or the fact that you actually look relaxed in a photograph for once.
And maybe one day you’ll come back to an image you initially struggled with and see something entirely different. That happens in life, too. Our relationships with ourselves change, sometimes in ways we couldn’t have predicted.
I want your boudoir photographs to have room to grow with you.
Denver Boudoir Photography for Women Ready to See More
I understand why women ask for flattering poses. It’s a perfectly reasonable request in a world that has spent an extraordinary amount of time convincing us that our bodies need constant improvement. I’m just more interested in what happens when we start questioning that request.
What if you didn’t spend your entire boudoir session worrying about which parts of yourself were allowed to be seen? What if you could experience being photographed without treating your body like a problem your photographer was hired to solve?
I know that’s a big ask, especially if you’ve spent years feeling uncomfortable in photographs. And I’m certainly not expecting you to walk through my studio doors with a fully healed relationship with your body and a motivational speech prepared.
So, bring your nerves. Your questions. Bring the insecurities you’re still working through. We can talk about all of it, and I’ll be right there guiding you through the experience with the same care, creativity, and attention I give every woman I photograph. All I’m asking is that you leave a little room for the possibility that your body was never the thing standing between you and a beautiful photograph.
I already know how to photograph you. I’d love for you to start believing you’re worth photographing, too.
Curious about booking a Denver boudoir photography session with Blue Flame Studio? I’d love to talk about the experience, what you’re hoping to get out of it, and how we can create something that feels meaningful to you, exactly as you are. Inquire HERE.
