“I wish I had the confidence to do something like that.” Whether it’s a boudoir, maternity or branding session, stepping in front of a professional photographers camera causes anxiety. It’s normal and totally fine to feel that way by the way, it’s actually a good sign. There is a common misconception that you should have the confidence before booking a photoshoot, especially with boudoir and how personal it is. The truth is you will find confidence in boudoir.
“Someday I will have the confidence.”
How many times have you told yourself ‘someday‘ when it comes to something you want? You might have even made it a default habit that has convinced you don’t deserve that trip to Italy. That expensive spa day. That job that would make you oh so happy. Committing to someday is the biggest dream killer. To get somewhere different, you are going to have to do something different. Finding your confidence in boudoir doesn’t have to be someday. And even if it must be someday, you are going to have to make that someday happen. So why not now? Since someday isn’t promised, when you commit to it you are telling yourself it’s not a priority. Which is also ok, but if it’s something you really want, commit to saying no to someday.
What do you want?
It’s a simply question, yet many cannot authentically answer it. Many of the women I speak with when they inquire about boudoir have been interested in the idea for years. They know they are interested in it, that spark is there. Then the noise gets louder; I don’t have the confidence, it’s too expensive, I don’t have anyone to do it for etc… The excuses get loud. But before all the BS, they wanted it. That’s their authentic answer. Looking through different galleries you might start to see yourself in these images or you might not. It’s so important to understand that the key to find your confidence in boudoir is all about about what you want. Not what you think the noise is telling you. You are not required to get naked, but you can. Lingerie is not required, wear what makes you feel good. Makeup can be true to you, or glammed all the way up. Your experience is evolve around what you want. Leave expectations about boudoir that don’t resonate with you at the door. You are already badass, your reasons for doing this are personal and you are enough. We talk all about how you want to be seen, what you want to focus on and your expectations before your session.
Find confidence in boudoir
After shooting boudoir for over eight years and witnessing hundreds and hundreds of women transform in front of my camera, I can confidently tell you confidence is found in boudoir. It’s taking that someday and making it now. It’s going through growing pains to gain something different. If you are waiting for the confidence, like it’s going to magically show up, you would have already had it. You would have had that confidence long ago, because it’s not just going to show up. If committing to a boudoir experience is on your self love journey have faith that it’s a step where you might find more than what you were looking for. It might be the necessary step to your next chapter.
It’s easy to view our own bodies/ourselves through the ‘male gaze‘ and to view other women through the ‘female gaze.’ We tend to be much kinder to others, then ourselves. Society + the beauty industry has ingrained in us what we think we should look like. Even how we feel about what we look like. It’s a damn parasite. It might be why you don’t see yourself in boudoir images. You can see how beautiful and confident all these other women of all shapes + sized look but think not you. You are looking at them through your ‘female gaze’ and viewing yourself through what you think is the ‘male gaze.’
A boudoir experience is therapy to break that disconnect. It’s setting yourself up to deconstruct years of conditioning. You are consenting to an experience that pushes you out of your comfort zone. That in itself is liberating! You are given a safe space to explore what you want/need from this time. You are guided through poses to evoke and celebrate your feelings. A professional photographer is there to capture it all and show you yourself from a difference gaze. There is nothing like it. Finding confidence in boudoir is that something different to get somewhere new.
Ready to commit to saying no to someday? It just takes one click to start. Inquire HERE and let’s make someday happen.
